Please. help me find the flaw in my logic because there must be one

I’m just so mad right now. And the same time I feel like I can’t take this anymore.

Yesterday I got a call from this step brother of mine, who is still thinking that he has been wrongfully treated. I will tell you the whole story now, so that you can point out where the wrongdoing is if it exists.

My father has three children: me and these two boys. The boys’ mother died when they were quite young. My father married again but divorced a few years later. Then a lot later he met my mom and married her. At that time the boys were all grown up and had their own families. So they have never even lived in the same house as my parents. And then I was born.

They always had their own money and separate bank accounts. I do not remember that my dad ever had a job, but then again he was already quite old when I was born. My mom worked as a teacher in a nearby elementary school before retiring. So my mom was the one to bring money to the family as I remember it. I could be wrong, but I do not know that he had any hidden money anywhere and I would have come up now if that had been the case.

Fast forward to a couple years ago when my parents sold the house they had been living in for about 30 years as they got too old to take care of the house and yard. They did not want to buy an apartment for that money but decided to rent so they got a large sum of money that they divided 50/50. My dad had just been in the hospital for pneumonia and had been quite ill for some time. After he got out of the hospital he divided his share of the money between his three children so each one of us got 12000 Euros.

I did not know it back then, but around the same time they made a prenuptial agreement and a will. I seem to remember that my mom was very mad about something at that time and it was somehow linked to the bank they were using. I do not know the details of what was going on but I remember my mom said that someone at the bank had said that my dad has a strong opinion and she felt that her opinion did not count for anything. This made her change to another bank even though she had been using the other bank all her life.

This is now pure speculation, but now when I know more I suspect that the disagreement was about my dad giving his share of the money away. In this country when you are married your money and everything you own is put together and divided evenly between spouses if the marriage ends (divorce or death). I think my mom realized that now when my dad gave his money away it would be half of her share that would be divided amongst the three children in the likely event of him passing before her. So that is why they made the prenuptial that made her money and possessions hers and his money and possessions his.

They also made a will, which in my opinion was completely unnecessary. It just states the obvious, my father’s money would be evenly divided between the three of his children and my mom’s would go to me alone. Then there was something that I found odd, it said that all their belongings would go to me except for one clock and a desk. Hey, I do not want all that stuff, I have nowhere to put it!

So after my father died we all had to sign a paper that we have been notified of the will and if we accept it or not. To me it seemed quite simple and the only part I found odd was me getting all the stuff. But the other one of the half brothers got all agitated and seemed hostile when he came to the meeting where we just stated the funds of the deceased and his spouse. My father did not leave a lot of money and the most of it went to the funeral.

I think the bank official said that there really is not much chance of getting any of my mom’s money even if you decide to not accept the will because of the prenuptial. But he just kept repeating that how come he is not getting anything and how my dad was willing to share but my mom is not. Why should she share her money to men she is in no way related to?

I thought that he would come to his senses after he has time to think about it. I’ve even said that he is more than welcome to take anything he wants from the stuff my father had, I have no use for his tools or that one painting my half brother’s wife made 30 years ago. Please take them is that makes you happy! I’m just baffled on why you did not express any interest in them back when they had to move from a large house to a two bedroom apartment and a lot of stuff had to be thrown away. All those tools would have ended in the dump if it had not been for my ex who took some of them back to our place. Now it is suddenly a matter of life and death that he gets as much as possible.

And then we come to the reason I’m writing this post and why I am so mad. And sad. This half brother called me yesterday. He still has not signed the paper that he has been notified of the will. He is still thinking it is unfair that my dad gave his money to all of his children evenly but my mom wants to give her money to her only child.

He now thinks that my dad should not have given me anything and should have left all he had to the two sons. He said he would sign the paper is I agreed to give him half of the money that we were given when the house was sold because he thinks he deserves it and I don’t. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? So I should just give you 6000 Euros because your feeling have been hurt? Come on now, I do not have that kind of money. That was several years ago, I’ve spent the money. Right now I’m struggling to make it from one month to another. I just paid the bills for this month and there is barely money left to buy food. And I should just give you that much money? In your dreams.


2 responses to “Please. help me find the flaw in my logic because there must be one

  1. Wtf? He’s out of his ever-lovin’ mind! He is in no way entitled to your mother’s money due to the pre-nup (unless Finnish law is wiggly on the subject).

    I’m sorry you have to go through this as well. I’m sure he’s just hurting from the death of your father, but there’s no reason to put you through this, too.

  2. When it comes to inheritance, people argue over the weirdest things. Sometimes over the smallest things too.

    The rule of thumb in inheritance is that children inherit from their parents and spouses inherit from on another. So, your mother inherits from her husband, and so do his children (the 3 of you).
    How on earth your step-brother thinks he’s entitled to anything of your mom’s, I have no clue.

    But people often stop being reasonable at times like this.

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