No turning back now

It’s funny how your mind plays tricks on you. Now my thoughts have once again gotten to the point where I question my decision to leave. I’m afraid it causes some permanent damage, either to me or DS. Or even soon-to-be-ex, I still do not wish him to be dead or anything.

I need to remind me on why it is I’m leaving. I have to convince myself that it really is the right thing to do. I need to be sure I’m doing this for me and nobody else. I need to be confident that I would be happy in this new life even if I have to be alone.

But that is the funny thing about life. There are no certainties. There is no way of knowing how my life would be if I stayed instead of leaving. All I can do is trust my intuition. And that is screaming that this should have been done years ago. My rational mind is the one having a hard time right now.

Just a few more weeks. Then the hell breaks loose. I just have to think that no matter how hard it is at that time it will only get better. Things will be all right. In the end everything will be all right.


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