Just another day

Um, I guess it is time for my monthly (or so) update on things. Evertyhing is pretty much in a holding pattern right now. The one thing that has gone forward is the looking for an apartment part, which now looks like it’s solved. I’m going to buy a flat! The interests are low, at least in this country, so there is no point in paying rent. That rent money is gone after it leaves your bank account and you will never see it again. But the mortgage payments will go towards something that is yours, so you can get at least some of it back if you decide to sell it someday.

It’s funny that I can not really say how I feel about this. One second I am sooooooo excited that I want to jump in joy. The next second I’m thinking about all the things that can go wrong, like losing my job and not getting another one near enough so that I could commute. I’m really, really scared about this and really looking forward to it.

And my parents are really getting old. I do worry about them. To me it is quite obvious that they can not live by themselves a lot longer. But for some reason it seems to be really difficult to get them somewhere where they would be taken care of. So to the authorities they are still well enough to live in their home. What if they do not want to live at that home anymore???

And work is, well, work. I hate paperwork but that is the only thing I’ve got right now. Right now I’m trying to make Excel do some calculations for me and it seems really difficult. I know there are many things you can do with it but how do I find out how?

So once again it seems that there is so much worry in my life that I can not feel anything. I just feel flat. Maybe it is some kind of a coping mechanism. If I really worried about all the things in my life right now I would go mad.


2 responses to “Just another day

  1. Wow, buying your own appartment, that sounds great!
    Does your husband know yet?

    I think you’re right that the numbness is a coping mechanism. How would you cope otherwise?

    Excel problems, I usually ask Google what to do. Or I read through the Help function, there’s a lot in there.

  2. No, the soon-to-be ex does not know yet. My life will turn into hell the moment he learns about it. So I’d like to have a place where I can escape to before I tell him. It has been bad enough before…

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