So the new year is here. Now I really have to start looking for a place to stay. Once again the first rush of excitement has passed, but this time I’m not giving up. This time I’m going to follow through with it.
But still it’s hard. I know I am doing the right thing, but doing it is going to hurt others. And I’m still very, very worried on how badly the soon-to-be-ex is going to flip. I’m sure many of you have read about this. I really believe he is not going to go that mad, but I can not be sure. He surely is overly jealous.
So I do not think I’m too cautious about him. He has not been physically violent towards me or anyone else, but I’m not completely sure he is not going to do anything. I guess I just have to do whatever I have to and worry about those things should they emerge.
But I can not help but be a bit worried. This could all blow up on my face. I have to consider the possibility that he is not going to be able to deal with it. So would I rather be dead than live my life this way?