My head has not yet stopped spinning. And I’m quite sure it’s not going to for a while.
I talked to a good friend of mine during the weekend. I can tell her everything and did just that. And she thinks that this living arrangement of mine sucks for everyone and I’m not doing anyone any favors by not leaving.
So this time I’m really going to leave. I really cannot stay any longer. Well, much longer, no point in ruining Christmas for everyone. I’ve put it up this far, I can carry on a month longer. But as soon as the New Year arrives I’m going to look for an apartment of my own.
This time I can and will not cancel this plan for anything or anyone. DS will follow, I have trust that if he has to choose between staying with soon-to-be-ex and in the same school and moving to the city with me and possibly having to change into another school.
As I said in the previous post, I’m afraid of this path and where it is leading me. But now I know for sure that this is the path I must take. I have been telling me that I do this because of DS, but I actually may be doing him more harm by staying than I will do by leaving now instead of later.