The summer is almost here. It’s always nice when the weather gets warmer. I still find it difficult to find any joy in the nicer weather, as so many things are still going around in my head. I find it hard to concentrate on things.
This really has been an interesting year. So many things have happened and seem to keep happening. Just recently I heard that my good friend has ended up in hospital. I should really call her to see how she is doing, but for some reason I can not make myself do it. So I’m pretending to be the ostrich that buries its head in the sand. I really need to do it, but maybe later today…
I think I also feel bad because she is going to be 40 this summer and was going to have a party three weeks from now. I think it is reasonable to assume that the party has been cancelled. And I was bitching to another friend about how I do not want to go because there will be only women present and I know that I do not get along with at least one of them.
I know I’m a bit odd, but I have never really been good in getting along with women. I can not usually chat with them for a very long time without starting to feel like an outsider. What I like doing and what I do in real life is not what your average female usually does. For starters I’m an electrical engineer. There are not that many women I have met in this business. I really like computers and doing things with them, I’m quite sure you can not find too many women that have done a format c: on purpose. And even if that is not enough, now I play WoW.
So do you think I would have had a lot to talk about with most of the women? Umm, no. So I was quite sure that the party would not go well for me. I was not looking forward to it. Now I do not have to go to the party (most likely, not exactly confirmed yet as I have not been able to make myself call) but the reason sucks.
I know that me thinking that I do not want to go is not the reason my friend is lying in the hospital right now. I’m feeling a strange mixture of relief and concern. I think I’m going to make that call. Right now.