I have just read back on what I wrote about a year ago. It certainly brought back memories. I was so ready to walk out the door! I would have walked, too, if it wasn’t for DS. There was no way back then that I could go without him and there still isn’t. But I so desperately want to leave! But if DS still absolutely refuses to move anywhere that would cause him to go to another school my options are severely limited.
It’s not that I have not been looking for a place to stay. I most certainly have kept my eye on any available apartments near here. Sadly, there still is none to be found. Damn it. And still no big lottery win for me. So I’m just as stuck as I was then. Four and a half years until DS gets out of the school he is in right now. How can I survive it?
I want out. I want out. I really, really want out. I feel that some kind of an explosion is coming. I’m just trying to get though Christmas before it happens so that whatever happens is not going to ruin Christmas for many years to come. You know how if something bad happens on a holiday you will remember it every year. I want to avoid that if in any way possible.