If it's in the fridge it does not mean you have to drink it

So the midsummer is over. I’m really, really glad it is over. As I suspected, it sucked big time. Friday was not too bad, but Saturday started off just great. I woke up in my bed with all my clothes on, so I must have been pretty drunk in the evening. Soon-to-be-ex had fallen asleep in a living room chair. He did wake up when DS got up. And what did he do as soon as he got up? He went to the fridge and popped open a can of beer.

He was not really sober to begin with, so pretty soon he was quite drunk again. In the middle of the day. I just tried to stay as far away from him as I could, but it pissed me off really bad. Really. I had a sick feeling in my stomach – no, not because I was having a hangover, but because of that jerk.

Not surprisingly he passed out at the kitchen table after getting food around 4 p.m. Yes, in the afternoon. Sometime later he (unfortunately) woke up. We were going to go to sauna again, as we had done the day before. I was not going to go to sauna with that one, I really wanted to go alone. Or with DS. Do you think that someone so drunk could understand it at that point? Yeah, right.

Luckily after the sauna he passed out again, this time on the bed. The flag should have been taken down at 9 p.m. but he could not do it. I stayed up with DS a bit longer and then we both went to sleep. The jerk was still sleeping over the bedspread…

All is well now, right? Noooooooo. At 3:30 a.m. someone of that jerk’s “friends” tried to call him. Shit. And it was not enough that the phone rang once for as long as it could. Oh no. After no-one answered the first call, it started ringing for short periods of time. Ring ring – hang up – ring ring – hang up – ring ring – hang up…

At that point I was so mad. I wanted to crush that phone. I wanted to hack it into small unrecognizable pieces. Kill it. Make sure it never ever rings again. But I just closed the door to keep the noise out.

Then that jerk got up. Yes, he just let his phone ring up to the point where I could not take any more. He stayed up for a while and walked around the house which effectively meant that I could not go back to sleep for quite a while.

And in the morning it was DS who woke me up. Guess what that jerk did? Ohhhh yes, he got up and walked straight to the fridge and opened a can of beer. Do we see a pattern here? This time he had luckily slept away most of the alcohol from last night so it took a while before he appeared really drunk again. But it did happen.

DS decided to go to his friend’s home for overnight, so I was left alone with that drunken man. I was pissed beyond belief. He had parked him in the kitchen which effectively meant that I could not get anything done. I so wanted to tell him to get the hell out of there. I tried to give him hints but to no avail, he just sat at the kitchen table. I quickly dashed into the kitchen whenever he went out for a cigarette and made it impossible for him to sit in the chair he sits. What did he do then? He stood by the table so long that I had to move.

So I stayed out of the kitchen all day. I was going to make a rhubarb pie, but the rhubarbs are still in the fridge because he sat in the frigging kitchen all day making my baking impossible. Fucking asshole!

And I was afraid to go to bed at night. I was so sure he would do something I would not like very much. I put on lots of clothes so that I would at least have the chance of waking up before his hands got too far…

So this was really a good reminder on how much I hate him. Oh fucking hell, this has got to stop. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life alone, this has to stop. Somehow I must find the strength in me. Anyone know where I might look first?

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2 responses to “If it's in the fridge it does not mean you have to drink it

  1. My god, you’ve already got the strength, you just have to take that first step, and then another, and another. It’ll get easier with time. You do not deserve this at all! And DS doesn’t, either.

  2. I second what Orodemniades said – neither you or DS deserves what you’re both living with! His behavior is abusive to both himself and his family. If he wants to abuse his body, that’s his business I guess, but he does not have any right to act abusively toward you or DS. You absolutely have the strength to do what you need to do. Even if it means that you have to live a bit further away until housing becomes available where you are now, you need to do it!

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