So I’ll try to forget that the law makers in this country seem to be utterly stupid. When it comes to making laws about things where it is so easy to react with your gut rather than brain, most of these so called representatives of the people do just that. I’ve complained about the law on infertility treatments on the past, another prime example. And all this in the name of children’s best interests. All is well if you just sweep the real problems out of sight.

Right now I’m just so fed up with everything. Everything is going straight to hell and I’m just smiling and watching it go. It’s still very unclear when I’ll be able to move out of this place I can no longer call home. It feels like I’ve already lost the momentum I had. And it sucks, badly.

My dad is still in the hospital. I went to see him yesterday and he seemed to be quite normal and alert. So his mind is working just fine, it’s just that his body is starting to give up. Well, what did you expect at 98 years if age… Next week there will be a meeting in which (I’m assuming) we are going to talk about what to do next. Right now it seems obvious that he can not return home. My mom is too old to care for him.

And my job is not any better than the last time I talked about it. Sometime in the near future it is time to evaluate my performance again. There are few things I hate more. I am not good in evaluating myself. And I feel like I’ve not done much. Unfortunately my salary depends partially on this, as we have this new great salary system… I’m not making that much even now, I can not take it if it gets any lower than this!

And to top it all (and probably the real cause of my low mood right now) the game I played with those people ended sometime in January. And now it seems that the people who played it are getting on with their lives – meaning disappearing from mine. So much for those new friends… Seems that it was all in my imagination. Damn. The IRC channel is still there, but the amount of people has dropped dramatically. And I find it difficult to say anything there anymore. The topics seem to be so out of my realm these days.

Yeah, and I’m feeling like a bad mom because I see no reason put hard limits on how much time DS can spend on the computer. I think it’s good that he learns how to use the computer. Sitting besides him with a stopwatch seems like overkill. But I’ve heard that one of his friend’s mom thinks that the boy can not come and visit DS because they spend all that time on the computer. Which is not true, by the way. To me it seems that they have star wars light saber fights all the time. To me this just seems like another of those forbidden fruits kind of things. DS has free access to the computer (well, if I’m not on it that is), so he does not spend that much time on it.

Damn it. There is no way I can win, is there?

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2 responses to “

  1. I’m sure her darling would keel over after one solitary afternoon of computer gluttony, too.

    I hope your performance review goes ok.

    Thoughts are with you for the family meeting. That’s a tough one.

    Bea

  2. Plenty of stress factors in your life, and no, I suppose you can’t win on all accounts.

    Have you been in touch with your IRC friends, or are you too shy to mail them? It wouldn’t necessarily help, but you never know.

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