The paths I've taken

Do you believe that things happen purely by chance or can something that appears to be completely coincidental actually be something that was meant to happen, destiny? I’m asking this because the sequence of events that lead to the previous post started sometime in February this year for something that I would never in a million years thought would have come to this.

What did I do back then? I read a Finnish blog I like reading every now and then. I saw her talking about a good way to spend your spare time. I followed the link and signed up for a free online game played through your browser. That’s what I did. Doesn’t sound so serious, does it? I certainly did not think back then that oh hell, by starting to play this game I’m going to end up getting a divorce. Why would anyone think that? It’s just a game running on a server somewhere in Germany.

But it’s really just another game. This is a huge multiplayer game. There are no computer players, all are other human beings. You have to connect with others in order to be able to survive in this game. Those without a proper alliance will be destroyed by others. That’s one of the first things I found out when getting to know how the game should be played. So I looked for an alliance to join and found one. Which was a horribly bad one, so I quit. And founded a one of my own. I had big ideas for it. But the alliance never really got anywhere, but I still see it as the point where it all begun.

There were still several points where things could have gone the other way. At no point I was making a conscious choice thinking this is what I’ll end up. As you can very well see, the breaking point was on Monday. Before that I was still sure things would go the way they had been for so long. I would not really be happy but I would not be horribly sad either.

We will see how this goes. I’m still quite much afraid of days to come. This is not going to be easy. But it’s still a new start. I will find happiness one day, I have to believe that.

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2 responses to “The paths I've taken

  1. I firmly believe that the Universe has a way of kicking us up the ass when we get too comfortable or complacent, especially when we’re unhappy. Sometimes it’s little things, sometimes it isn’t.

    It may not seem like it right now, but everything is going to turn out all right.

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