I do not know how to write this post. I want to write something, but the words keep evading me. I hate this pit. I thought that I had left it behind for good, but now I’m down in it desperately looking for a way out.
My dad is worse again. They are taking him back to the bigger hospital further away from home. They might even take him to an even bigger hospital even further away from home. You still have to hope, but it’s really, really hard.
And then there is my mom. She is old, too, although not quite as old as my dad. But her problem is her memory. She can’t remember everything anymore. Just yesterday she called me three times. They are selling their house, because they can’t keep it up anymore and trying to find a rental apartment where somebody else does the yard work and other maintenance. So in the morning she calls to tell me that they are going to sign the papers at noon. Then in the afternoon she calls and tells me she has been in the hospital seeing my dad and the doctor said that all this selling the house business is too stressful and they have to all it off. Then even later that afternoon she calls to tell me that someone wants to buy the house and they are going to accept it.
There are just too many things happening at once. I can’t handle this anymore. I feel like exploding. I’m sure I will be many pounds heavier when this is over, because I just want to eat sugary and fatty things all the time. Right now I don’t even care if I do.