Try to think positively

They say that you can not feel sad if you force yourself to smile. I’m not so sure about that. I’ve tried to do just that, but I’m failing miserably. Just the other day I was thinking how one of the good things about quitting treatment is that you stay out of that pit.

Yeah. I think the universe heard it, even though I only thought that, not actually said it out loud. And now it seems I’m facing it again. In fact not long after I thought about how un-depressed I was I got a call from my mom. She said that my dad had been admitted to the hospital for some pains in his chest. And I lost it. I’m not sure if I’ve told you but my dad is old. I mean really, really old. Like 96 years old. So my rational mind is telling me that there can not be much time left. So I’m afraid. Really, really afraid. I do not want to answer my phone because I fear what I might hear.

And the other thing that makes me sad is that DS started preschool this Tuesday. Here the kids start it the year they reach six years of age. So it was his turn. So now I put him in a taxi every morning to go to school. I do not have a baby anymore. And before I know it he will be moving out.

I need that dog. Now.


5 responses to “Try to think positively

  1. Hello,

    Thanks very much for renting my blog for the week. I’ve said a few words and drew a cartoon for you. If there is anything that I’ve said that is inacurate or insensitive, please let me know and I will happily change or remove it.



  2. That pit is a horrible place because you can think you’re behind it, in front of it, passed it, whatever and then blam. You’re right back in it

    I hope your dad is doing ok. My great-grandfather had a stroke at 95, completely recovered, and lived another 13 years. I wish you lots more time as well.

  3. Mark – I’m so glad you decided to have me as your renter! And don’t worry, the cartoon is just great 🙂 Go check it out everybody!

    Lut and Millie – thanks for your concern. He is still in the hospital and we do not know when he will be getting out. I went to see him today with my mom. It is never much fun, there is just something about seeing someone you know so well in hospital clothes and not doing too great…

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