I do not want to be an asshole!

I really should be thinking about absorbing boundary conditions, but just a quick post.

So if you’ve missed the list I’m trying to keep, look here first. I have a couple of questions about it. First, I’m not so sure if I should really call it “still trying blogs”. I mean there are some that are not actively trying anymore, so that is a bit unfair to them. But what should I call it then? The infertiles? Well, you know you are not ever really cured from infertility, so everyone who has ever been IF should be there. Suggestions?

The other thing about my list is that now all the adopting blogs are among the still trying blogs (yet another reason why I should think of another name for it). But does that bother someone? Should I make yet another page for those that are actively adopting at the moment? I’ve never even seriously thought about adopting, so I do not have any clue on whether it might be painful for someone to see others talking about home studies and all that comes after that. But it also seems funny when those adopting move straight from “still trying” (or whatever I decide it will be called) to “parenting”. Please tell me!

Edited to add – some modifications made to the titles of the categories done. That will have to do for now, I’ll split the big list when I’ll have more time to do so!

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5 responses to “I do not want to be an asshole!

  1. Well, the most obvious (if tiring!) solution would be to break them up into relevant categories, from ‘still trying’ to ‘adopting’ to ‘parenting’. I don’t think anyone would mind that?

  2. First off, I’m still amazed you’re taking this on. I’m sooooooooo far behind in my blog links because I’m totally overwhelmed by all the work to change it up.

    If I have a vote (not that I do, but you asked), I’d vote for separating the adoption blogs into their own category. Not so much because it might be painful for folks but because it could be tremendously helpful for others who are considering adoption to easily find people who’s blogs are especially meaningful to them at that time.

    No good ideas on the other still trying folks but they might have a good idea.

  3. I got tired of trying to categorize them too, so I refer to anyone who is trying to get pregnant, trying to stay pregnant, trying to adopt, having had adopted or having had a baby after loss ‘Brave and Crazy.’ The categories can change so quickly; I made it one big category.

  4. I have a sorted my blogroll into the following categories:
    – adopting
    – ART 1 (= not yet tried IVF)
    – ART 2 (= have tried IVF)
    – PG after IF
    – Arrived (no longer trying, both people who now have a child and people who have called it quits)

    No categorization is ideal. When I was exploring other people’s blogrolls, weeding through all the parenting blogs to find the still-TTC blogs was a bit frustrating. It gives hope that ART may actually work, but that wasn’t what I was looking for at the time.

    With categorization comes some responsability, I feel. Especially the PG after IF is sensitive. Sometimes things go wrong, it may be painfull for the person in question to stumble across their blog referenced under PG then. If I find I’m no longer able to check up on these blogs regularly, I plan to hide this section from my blogroll.

    I use Bloglines to generate my blogroll and manage the categorization.

  5. Thanks for the suggestions! It seems like separating the adoption blogs is a good idea. And I know the pregnant list is the most sensitive one. I have decided to move a blog to that list after it seems that the pregnancy is likely to stay. And it is very, very important to move those who are unfortunate and miscarry away from that list. Very.

    What I’m still not so sure is where to put those blogs where you have given up / not in active treatment. I do not feel like I can lump them together with the parenting blogs, but I’ll think of a way. One of these days…

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