I’m feeling empty. This is the end. There will not be a next IVF. So this is the end of the road. Am I happy now? No. There are so many things I wish had gone the other way. I should have looked for a different partner when I heard what I did (ask me if you want to know). I could have taken another road. Now I will never know. Does that bother me? Yes.
This is where I am now. I could have taken other paths. But in the end it could be me. I hate this. Nowhere to go. I have played my cards this way. It might not be the right way, but this is what I ended up with.