When does the sun shine in this pit?

I guess now it’s time to take a turn for the worse again. Things were going quite nicely for a while, but now I’m down again. Sure, the sun is still shining but I’m here at work and my vacation only begins two weeks from now. With my luck it will be raining by then.

We went to visit some friends on the weekend. And now I’m quite tired, which could be partly the reason why I’m not feeling so great. But only partly. Things could have gone better when we were there. The first night I had too much wine. I’m beginning to think I should never drink again, as I always manage to make a fool out of myself and can not stop before it’s too late. I hated myself the next day for doing it. Then the next day others were sipping drinks again, but I could not get any down. And more than that, some other people came there and I’m not particularly fond of them. This woman has said a few things when we’ve seen each other, always at this mutual friend’s place. And sure enough, she managed to irritate me again. I could have taken it if I had been drunk again, but I was not. So they pretty much talked between themselves and I felt left out. I went to bed early.

And DS seems to be more than a handful these days. Yesterday he was most likely just really tired like everybody else, but he was really cranky. It was not nice when you were wiped out yourself, too. I just hope he is better today when I go home. It has not been easy for him that he actually has to spend the days home with DH while I’m at work. His daycare provider is on holiday, so that’s why he’s at home. As DH is at home anyway.

I still haven’t won in the lottery. It not only means that there will be no more IVFs in the foreseeable future, but that I have to be careful in what to buy/ not to buy. It gets really old after a while. Then I’m just reading the Clay Aiken forums where people are getting excited about the tour that is starting soon. I have never seen him live. If I just had the money I would fly to the US to see him in a concert, but that’s not going to happen in my lifetime. Money sure does make the world go around!


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