Severed dreams

Infertility journey, part VII : IVF #3

But surely the next cycle will be different, right? I mean they are changing the protocol and this one will work better, right? And now it’s the same time of the year than it was with my successful cycle, it has to be a sign, too!

So this time there was no sniffing, just one shot and that’s it. But this needle really was a lot longer than the ones I have used before. I had to take (a) few deep breaths before I stuck it under my skin. It seemed to be working; I got all the lovely side effects just like with the sniffing stuff.

And giving shots with this Puregon pen was so much easier than with those Gonal-F multidose needles. And the follies seemed to be growing just nicely. But again at the time of retrieval the numbers went down. Again I’m not totally sure of the exact number of eggs retrieved, but it seemed they all came from one side and all the follies on the other side were empty. But let’s say there were seven eggs again. Most of them fertilized.

So I was a bit surprised to learn that only one was still alive when I went to transfer. Just one and it wasn’t much of a beauty anyway. Yeah great. So again there was nothing to freeze.

I waited for hyperstim. Hey, I had had it twice before, I would surely get it again. But I didn’t feel so bloated. A week later I convinced myself that I was bloated and headed to the clinic. Which was the probably the worst mistake I’ve ever made: there was nothing that would suggest any hyperstim. I was so embarrassed. And then I got AF. So I had been wrong, changing the protocol only made things worse.

And like it or not, this story will be continued…


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