This post talks about parenting. If you think you will be disturbed by what I’m going to say, please stop reading now.
I often feel like I’m the worst mom. I love my DS more than I could ever love someone, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that. He is about 4 ½ now, and it seems that we fight every day over trivial things. He wants something and I refuse and then he starts crying or saying he has been a really good boy today and could use a reward for it. He really is trying to pull my strings! The bad thing is that I sometimes do give in to him. Not always, but sometimes.
One time we were getting gas near a big department store. I had already told him that no, we are NOT going to go in, we will just get the gas and drive home. Then he tells me that he needs to pee. Anybody who has dealt with kids knows that you just can’t tell that you’ll have to wait until we get home. So in we went. He actually did pee, but it was the bathroom of a hamburger place and he suddenly became really, really hungry and could not possibly wait until we got back home. So I let him have a tiny hamburger and eat it there.
And I should have taught him to drink water. Now he refuses to drink water, it has to be juice or soda. I’m not letting him have soda every day, so it’s mostly much diluted juice. I tried to get him to take at least a few sips of plain water but no. I only have to assume that he just isn’t really thirsty if he is refusing to drink. This will be a long battle of wills.
But we pretty much got what we bargained for. I would be foolish to think that two really stubborn people could produce anything but a strong willed offspring. It sure seems hard at times, but it is also so worth it. But the house is a real mess. It seems really hard for him to understand that mommy sometimes has to fold the laundry or empty the dishwasher and can’t play with Transformers all day long. So I’ve been a bad mommy and put on a tape of Transformers so I can get something done. If only I would have gotten pg when we started trying again… they could play with each other and I would have some time for myself. It’s so hard to explain the same thing over and over again every single day when you are already tired from work.
I just have to believe I’m not doing any irreversible damage. He will most likely grow up all right. I just have to believe in myself.