Ok. So today I’m deciding to take a positive angle on all this. It could all be worse!
1. Job. Well, at least I have one. Sure, it might not be what I really wanted to do, but they are still paying me (a little) every month to do it. With that money I can buy food and clothes and sometimes even something just for fun. The job could be even worse, at least now I’m n a job that matches my training. And the pay is more than many women make even though it is low compared to what I’d make in a private owned company.
2. The house. At least it gives me a roof over my head. Sure, it’s small and inconvenient and ancient, but I’m not homeless. I have a warm place to sleep in. There is electricity and running (hot) water and a toilet, so I don’t have to freeze my butt in the winter. I’ve tried that, and exposing your behind to take a leak when it’s -30C is not something I’d like to do often!
3. DH. Well, even this could be worse. At least he is not physically abusing me. Not that I would stay for one second if he did. Yes, Bugs, thanks for asking, I’m afraid of what would happen if I left. I’m pretty sure I’d be better off with just DS, but that is clearly not an option here. He would never just let it happen, so I can see us in court in a custody battle. Not something I want to get into if I can avoid it somehow. I don’t think there would be much chance of me losing the battle, but it would most likely be a horrible process.
4. IF. This is not something you’d want to have, but I’m otherwise considered healthy. I have all my limbs, I can see and hear, I have no other major illnesses. Some days I can almost forget that I can’t get pregnant. It would be much harder to forget a wheelchair.
5. DS. This one is pretty much self explanatory. He makes my days worth living. Surely it seems that I used up all my luck in getting him, but I would not change that for anything. It could have been worse if they picked the wrong embie. They transferred two, only one took.