So this is Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! Though I can confess it has not been too merry for me. And I feel like a bad person because I’m glad of something that could have made my holiday even worse. Well, we’ll get to that in a while. Just about everything is mentioned in this post, so do not read if in a sensitive place!

Here in Finland Christmas Eve is really the biggest day. I woke up in the morning and took the ham out of the oven. After having rice porridge for breakfast we headed out to my parent’s house to give them our presents and a piece of the ham. There DS was running around all the time, it was impossible to keep him in one place. Not a great was to start the day. Then DH needed to get something from the store before they close for Christmas, so we drove there. But the nearest one just wouldn’t do, he had to drive around the town to see if there was anybody else around. Normally that would not matter much, but at noon every Christmas Eve they declare Christmas peace from Turku, and I wanted to be home to see it on TV. Well, needless to say the clock was 12 and we were still standing in the parking lot of the store. If he had just gone to the first store we would have made it home. You could just see the steam coming from my ears by now.

Then there was the mandatory visit from BIL and his wife. I really, really do not like them. It goes a way back, and I could try to write about it if anyone is interested, but not in this entry. Let’s just say that seeing them on Christmas and midsummer is often enough, thank you. I’ve never liked my BIL and it has only gotten worse after he found that woman he later married. So I was not excited to see them, but knew they were coming. And as everyone knows, there is alwas that little something that still needs to be done, so I was ironing the tablecloth as they arrived. I decided to finish it anyway, and was still doing it when that woman came to talk to me. And now for the horrible part, or where I should have felt horrible but actually felt glad and still can’t make myself feel any differently. Must be an IF thing. So she started to talk vaguely about how this Christmas is not what it was going to be. You know, giving you the impression that something really bad has happened. And than proceeds to tell me that she had a misscarriage. What the… Yes, I knew they were trying, but I thought there is no chance in hell that she would actually get pg. Apparently she does. And then she tells me that they were planning on telling us this Christmas about it. This is the point where I felt really, really, really glad that she had a miscarriage. Stupid assholes! They know perfectly well that our DS was a product of IVF. They know how hard it has been for us. And still they plan on ruining my Christmas (or what was left of it at that point) completely. I hate them even more now. I was tempted to twist the knife in the wound, you know, some of those nice comments like maybe it was for the best or something equally brilliant. But I did not. The question still remains that why tell me now?? What was the point? I don’t want to know. I don’t want any nieces or nephews for DS from them. There is no way I would like their kid if I hate the parents so much.

Sometime later Santa Claus came to bring pur presents. DS had been jumpy all day, because he was so nervous. He did sing a little to him, as Santa likes it when kids sing to him. He got a huge pile of toys (again) and I did not get to open my presents until later as I had to help him. Can somebody tell me why do they have to pack all the toys so tightly??? Even the smallest toy has a dozen wires around it that you have to take off before you can get it out of the package. Or if it is loose in the package there are two dozen tiny pieces you have to assembly with poor instructions. Just give me toys you can get easily out of the package in one piece and ready to play with.

So all this took quite a while and I was getting hungry. DH kept putting the last one together, and I went to prepare the meal. Well I got it ready but both of them refused to drop what they were doing to come to eat. So we had to put the whole damn thing together before I could get them to come to the table. This was at 6:30 p.m. I had not eaten much since that porridge in the morning. I was hungry. I was tired. I was mad. And my food was already could. And DS refused to eat anything on his plate. What a great day.

So I had a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit this year. And I’m still not feeling it. Luckily it is over soon.


2 responses to “So this is Christmas

  1. You really hate your BIL + wife. As I have suffered a miscarraige, I am on her side here, but I wouldnt have told my SIL about it unless I was really close.

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