No clever title for this one

Now the dreaded course is finally over. I just hope they do not refuse to pay the bill, because I suck at teaching. There were several things I should have explained better in the first place, not after seeing that nobody knows how to do the exercise afterwards… Why do I keep getting teaching assignments then? I honestly do not know. I should have just said no, but then again I was never really asked. That’s the worst part about it, not being asked. And yes, it’s good to know there are others who hate their jobs. If it just wasn’t the money…

But I’m going to be getting some money out of it. Which is not too bad. I still have to pay for that last try I’m still avoiding to think about. I seem to be living in deep denial, I just can’t think about it. Maybe it is a good thing, as I really do not need more stress right now. I’ll just be Scarlett O’Hara and I’ll think about it tomorrow. Or some other day after that. Maybe I’ll not think about it before I start sniffing again. If only I would remember to fill the prescriptions this year… What? No, I haven’t yet. I will. One day.

I surely hope the therapy is working. It is getting little easier, but still extremely painful. I really had to talk myself into going on Tuesday. I had to remind me on why I’m doing it and why it is well worth it if it works. And I do have to believe it does, otherwise I could not talk myself into going back anymore. But I know there must be something wrong with me, as from that amount of embies at least some would have had to stick. I have to do what I can. I guess I did not say that the last time I saw a zone therapist treating just my feet was right before I started the IVF cycle that ended up being the only successful one. Yes, it might just be a coincidence and most likely was. But I’m up to my last straws. If the last one fails there will not be any others. See, now I’m thinking about it again. The plan is not working.


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