Happy Birthday?? Fuck you

Happy birthday to meeee, happy birthday to meee, happy birthday dear ankaisa, happy birthday to mee.

So now I’m officially over the line. I’m thirty-fucking-six. And I don’t feel a day older! I really do not feel like celebrating this event, and I’m not really meaning to. Well, I’m having a Tupperware party tomorrow, but that’s it. I figured that is a way of getting people in to eat the cake. Otherwise we would be eating it for days and I’d end up throwing most of it away. So no, I do not have too many friends in real life. In fact I have really few. But I don’t really mind. I do not make friends easily. And those I made when I was younger I’ve lost contact with.

I’m just happy I was not born in the US. Thanksgiving would always land near my birthday, and I would never get to celebrate it. It would have sucked as a kid, as it sucked even without Thanksgiving. You know what I hated? Getting all my birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper. Always. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a birthday present wrapped in normal gift paper. Now I don’t think I’m getting any, but who cares anyway.

And I went to the therapy again yesterday. It is becoming more tolerable, but it’s still horrible. My feet still hurt. But maybe it is working, at least somewhat. The therapist said to me that she is expecting to see good results with me, as I seem to be responding to treatment. Oh yes I am. Hear me scream when it hurts the most! Other than that I can’t really say if much is happening or not. I seem to be calmer these days, and I do not feel like hiding under the table anymore. And she has been right so many times it is almost scary. Even before I told her why I was there she said that the blood flow to my uterus is not good. Umm, ok, you think that might have anything to do with the fact that I can’t get pg??? And she asked if my right shoulder has been sore – well it wasn’t then, but a couple of days later it was! There are others, but I can’t remember them right now. So maybe it does have an effect on something. In any case the money I’m spending on her is peanuts compared to the cost of IVF. Even here.

Yeah, and there sure are weird blogs out there. Someone must have come to my page via the next blog link, but I’m really not sure why anyone would even land on this blog!


3 responses to “Happy Birthday?? Fuck you

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