This morning I saw some pink spots on my Crinone applicator as I removed it. Drat. Now I’m cramping really bad in my back, and there was some brown spots on the tissue as I was wiping. it sure seems early for AF to arrive, but she seems to be here. I wasn’t expecting her until Monday, which would have been two weeks after retrieval. Yet another cycle out of the window!
Please do not tell me that it means nothing. I’ve been though this often enough to know it is over. And certainly do not tell me that I have to keep my beta appointment. I AM NOT GETTING ANY FUCKING BETA. Just the damn pee sticks. I’ll do one tomorrow morning, but I just know what it is going to tell me. One line, game over. Oh how I hate this. I know it would probably be early anyway, so even if I were pg it would not be positive. I actually ordered some HPTs online just now and I’m hoping they arrive by Monday. It at least said it would detect 10 mIU, so that is pretty sensitive. I have to assume I can’t turn HPTs positive easily considering my recent experience.
And there is a party I should be attending tonight which I’m seriously thinking about skipping. I should be there, but what can they do if I’m not. It’s not any kind of fun party anyway, just a 75 year party for an organization. Boooring. Stupid speaches for hours. I should only be there to introduce myself. Maybe I’ll fake some kind of illness or something. After all I’ve spent the better part of the last 2 weeks on sick leave. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. If the bitch had stayed away for one more day I could have gone there. But not now.