Suppression, Here I Come!

Started sniffing Synarela yesterday. It still seems funny that I only have to have it twice a day. I’m so used to having it four times a day that I start to think about the next dose at about the time when I would take the next sniff if it were 4/day.

No symptoms yet. You are always fooled at the beginning, thinking it isn’t so bad. Yeah, come back in about a week and check again. By then I’m used to the bad taste in my mouth. This stuff really doesn’t have a nice flavour!

Now AF just has to show up as scheduled. I’d hate to be on this stuff for another week if she doesn’t. If you see her, tell her that she is supposed to be here in a week. Bitch.

I guess it’s a coping mechanism, but I’m still not fully aware that I’m doing this again. I seem to vaguely remember how it was the first few times… Doing all kinds of things to make the cycle successful. Not this time! It’s not gonna work anyway, so why bother. Well – you might want to ask that again once I reach 2WW, as that is when the what-ifs begin.

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